This has been a weird carnival season. The Thursday and Friday parades were normal enough - lots of drinking, bead catching (and one Cabbage Patch doll), friends and general mayhem. 

Then Endymion got rained out on Saturday, so our favorite day which was typically filled with Witmakers and playing on North Carrollton found us having Super Bed Day and hamburgers. Meems and I had to get up at 6 AM the next morning to get ready to march in Thoth. Normally, we spend Sunday hanging around with our friends on the Neutral Ground, but instead we were wearing sequined costumes and wigs, marching down St. Charles Avenue. 

I have just been trying fruitlessly to upload a pic, but that will have to be forthcoming. The marching was great. At the beginning. But as we reached downtown, my feet started to feel 5 times their normal size and I just wanted to sit down. We reached downtown and made several turns and at each turn, I thought the end was near. But then we would keep going. I would get my hopes up and then I would see a long stretch of road ahead of me. People were cheering but I couldn’t wipe the scowl off my face. Meems and Lauren (the rest of the back row) said I had my hands on my hips and a grimace on my face. I couldn’t muster cheer, it had been 6 longs miles and 6 longs hours. I hadn’t eaten since 6 AM. I was done, son. 

We finally reached the end and we grabbed my bag and took off for Meems’s car. The plan was to go to Meems’s house and get our bikes and meet up with our friends. But we were all exhausted and starving. The minute we got to a restaurant, two of us fell asleep. Rod, being the amazing man that he is, met me at Michelle’s to drive me home because I was too tired. We finally made it home an hour later (after playing a terrible round of musical cars trying to get every back to their vehicle and home safe). Rod had to leave for his business trip the next morning by 6 AM and he was exhausted from the day as well. 

I crashed at 9 PM and experienced my first sleep paralysis (a very odd thing that I shall write about later, I’m sure) that morning when Rod was getting ready to leave. I didn’t even get out of bed to say goodbye. This was something I carried around with me the whole next morning. Especially when I got up and the house was a wreck and I felt utterly alone. 

I somehow managed to get through work until we were released at 2 PM. My hips were sore and my shins were screaming. Meems wanted to go to the Lundi Gras parades. At first I resisted, but then my empty house crushed me and I decided to be around people. 

This morning I’m shuffling around the house, shins still store, and laundry being done. The weirdest part about being married is that when someone is around you 24/7, you take it for granted. When they are suddenly missing, it takes you a second to remember how to do things. Or maybe that’s just me. Yesterday morning, I just stood in my kitchen and forgot my morning routine because part of it was missing. 

Rod is in California until Saturday, but I’m leaving on Thursday afternoon for Meems’s sister’s wedding in Lafayette. I’m grateful for the distraction but am sad that Rod won’t be at the wedding with me. 

To wrap this absurdly long post up, my feeling of this Mardi Gras is one of absence. Our normal routine was disrupted and I almost feel a little bit cheated this carnival go around. I miss my husband. My body hurts. I miss the times we would normally spend with our friends. But on the flip side, I’m grateful for the experience of marching in a Mardi Gras parade. And I’m excited for this weekend and I know an amazing wedding full of love and family is headed my way. 

*Sidenote: please think about Rod at 5:45 PM cst. He will be giving his panel discussion at the SMX Conference. I know he is going to be amazing!